I wanted to write about meditation for a long time, but I guess it wasn’t the right time. This article is only my experience, and I’m aware that our experiences can be very different.
I always heard about meditation, but when I was younger, I had no idea what it was really because no one explained it to me.
Life happened, and even as I grew up, I always thought it was not for me as I’m always very active, going forward even if it’s complicated. A few years ago, I lost someone I take care of. I was in a foreign country, and he helped me even only by his presence. I could see him every day, and the day he was gone, I was affected by this. I had started my journey with yoga (as pools are not so often opened in winter in New Jersey, especially when there is snowstorm). But I still thought that I couldn’t ease my mind. I actually could when I’m thinking about it but only for a few minutes. So the day he was gone, I decided to follow him by my thoughts on his new journey (I know it was crazy of me to think it was going to work). But I did it every day, and my pain was feeling less painful.
It is how I started my journey. At this time, I only used it when I needed it, especially when I had what I called a bad day.
The years went by, and I discover that it was not one day once every 45 days who was going to change anything!
Even when I was following my teacher’s yoga training, my teacher Deanna asked me to meditate every day (and she’s the one who taught me so much about yoga in English, it was my challenge!) But even if I wanted to try it, it seems just so impossible at this moment. And if you know me, I never liked it when people asked me to do something that I didn’t choose too. So it was difficult. I was always thinking about my day because I want to do it in the morning. Even some morning, I was so tired that I fell asleep! But it was the beginning of something if I still didn’t know what it was. I’m still so grateful to have met her path and to be back on track these last past months online (love the use of Zoom!!). She has a studio in Chester in New Jersey, if you are around you should go there and meet her and even if you are far away, she managed to have all of her classes online! So give it a try. This is the name of her studio: http://www.dhyanayogaarts.com
This year was for me quite hectic as I decided to follow my sweet half in Quebec and trust me, I didn’t want to go there. I know, me refusing to discover a new place. But I spend a long time away from France in countries where people were not speaking French that I was probably afraid to meet some French again. I always needed some linguistic challenge (and it has been one, but not the one I imagined!!) And I’m going to tell you, it wasn’t easy, and it’s still is!
Instead of trying to avoid this situation, I decided to use this situation and make the best of it. I started again to meditate every day and trust me, a few months after doing it; I know that now I will not miss a morning doing that!
To be honest, the first few days, your mind wanders everywhere (and mine still is, even this morning I couldn’t be in the moment). But I learned that was okay, it’s my journey, and I’m managing it. During this journey, I took time to read about it, learn what the meaning was behind, and even if sometimes you don’t understand its spirit. Take this time for you just to breathe and clear your mind.
As a teacher, can you use it in class?
This year was a tricky one as you know it, but since the beginning of the school year, I was doing meditation with my 4th-grade students (you know me, I’m the teacher not doing what is supposed to do ). It was so funny because when I missed a day, they asked me when we were going to do it? Even some of them were taking their pillow and their place in the class to it by themselves! I was astonished!!!
And don’t forget that teaching children about meditation would lead them to be better listeners and change their way of reacting to situations around them!
What did I learn about meditation?
I always feel bad about myself. My younger life was not easy, and I always felt the black sheep (and still sometimes I think this way), but when I’m meditating, I’m feeling great and beautiful inside and out. So I learned by the years that I’m the way I am, and nobody will ever change that (even if I’m not standing in their standards!!!). I feel great about myself, and I embrace who I am. And trust me, it took me a long time to realize that!!!!
When I was younger, I was always told that you shouldn’t wear that, or you shouldn’t do this, or you should wear makeup or overeat! Every aspect of my life was miserable because people around me told me what to do, and I was not ready to accept that even if they just wanted to guide me. I always was the kind of person who hated to be told what I should do, and I remember clearly when people were asking me to do something, I was always trying to do it the other way. I kinda was awful if I think about it now!!! But I wanted to learn by myself and I still do! I feel pressured by people around wanted me to experience their way. I knew that if I had to make a wrong decision and go straight to the wall, I would do it, and nobody could ever stop me! So when I was hearing around me, you shouldn’t do it, I was just doing it! I know I was even called stubborn, but now I can say that I knew exactly what I wanted !!!! If I had known at this moment that meditation was a think, it would probably help me avoid a lot of bruises and broken objects on the way!!!
When should you meditate, and where?
I don’t have the answer for this question because these past months, as we are all stuck at home, I continue to do it in the morning (and before 6 AM). But sometimes even during the day, I need a break (especially after doing some videoconference with my students where you have to manage all the technological problems). So I just want to say that it depends on you! You can try in the morning (don’t worry if you just feel asleep, don’t feel ashamed about that!), or just before going to bed.
I won’t recommend to do it in your bed (as the temptation to go back to sleep is huge!!!). Find a place in your house where you will be in silent mode. You can use guided meditation, music. This one is really up to you. Sometimes, having just to deal with your thought is enough. Sometimes, I love to hear some music (but I know that I have to be careful of what I choose because as a musician, sometimes, I want to follow the rhythms and get up and dance!).
Meditation gave me back my true self, and I’m waiting every morning to do it. I feel great, and even if I don’t follow the rules imposed by society, I don’t care. I’m my personality, and I embrace it. So should you!!!!
